shame. shame.

Scrolling through the news feed this morning and all I see in the headlines are “shaming, bullying, assault, murder, rape, feud”. It is honestly so discouraging to see words like that first thing in the morning.

While I understand that media plays a huge role in promoting negativity and fear and sharing some of the more discouraging things to read about (cause that’s where the money and interest is) people, just regular everyday people like you and I, have got to stop using media/social media as a platform to spew hate. I know it’s something that is just a societal norm now, that everyone is allowed to voice an opinion, whether its warranted or not, but this whole “shaming” thing really bothers me deep down in my soul.

I read an article about a woman who posted some flow chart she made about whether Mother’s should have careers. While I see the innocent intent behind this, she was lashed out against for “mom shaming”. Maybe she shouldn’t have shared it because everyone is offended by everything these days, and for me, a person who doesn’t have children, I could see her points objectively and think nothing of it, where as some people, and I will say insecure people, take it as an attack and in return, attack her. Why are we shaming this woman for sharing an opinion. Why do we attack her character with nasty hateful comments simply because we don’t agree? The word “shame” has become such a staple in our vocabulary that anyone can be shamed for literally anything and its accepted and then written about on news pages like Yahoo! and AOL, which if you’re still believing news from these pages, that’s a whole topic for another time.

I feel that as a society, we’ve become horrible human beings to one another. Even when I read things about people telling celebrities to “kill themselves” over some break-up, EVERY single headline these days. What goes through someone’s mind when they post something that hateful? Why don’t they realize how damaging that can be to someone, celebrity or not? How in your right mind, especially if you claim to be a good person, could words like that ever leave your mouth? I have never understood the level of negativity that breeds within so many human beings. I guess because I don’t feel it. I have never felt it.

What bothers me the most is the literal disregard for another individuals choices. I don’t understand the culture of “shaming”. There’s the old adage that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” and I still firmly believe in practicing that everyday. It doesn’t do anyone any good to say something negative about them. We live in a society now that deems it okay to ridicule, insult and/or pass judgments on someone because we believe the best practice is that we’re being “honest” and I don’t agree. I don’t agree that everyone’s opinion matters, ESPECIALLY when its a negative opinion. The moment you choose to shame someone, insult them or hurt them with your words, you forever seal your character, to me,  as a bad person and I have experienced this fully.

It doesn’t serve me in any way to talk about someone else. It doesn’t serve me in any way to envy, hate or dislike something I don’t know. I find often that the most religious people or even people who claim to be so enlightened, are some of the most hurtful people who will shame anyone at the drop of a hat. If you believe in a god or a savior who is the only person who can “judge”, how do you justify your judgment of others. I find it funny when a devout Christian or Catholic I’ve had conversations with can’t answer that question, especially when theyr’e shaming someone for being gay or engaging in pre-marital sex, what they choose to do with their free time or even where they stand politically. The funniest part of it to me, is how angry and hateful they get because they literally cannot dispute my opinion and then when I point out to them that if their god or being would pass final judgment on them, shouldn’t they just try to be a good person to everyone? What I learned throughout my life is that nothing is in my control, no one has to meet MY expectations or the standards I set for myself and that acceptance is a huge part of life. I have been friends with so many different people, from different backgrounds, environments, countries and I have never once thought to generalize them by way of shame for something I don’t know or understand.

Each person on this planet is an individual who was beautifully and uniquely made. Body type, texture of hair or skin, color of skin or eyes, race, religion, sexual orientation, likes, dislikes; ALL of those things, combined with everything else, make a person who they are. There should be no shame brought upon anyone for what makes them, them. I personally don’t care about any of those things, as long as you do your best to be a good person. To everyone and every thing. To speak positively, to serve others before yourself and to be a voice of change for good. If you don’t choose to be, i’ll be honest in saying that you don’t exist in my world. It’s much easier to say a positive thing than it is to say 3 negative things. And maybe that’s something we should practice everyday, to be better people. To not be judgmental or hateful because something goes against our beliefs or opinions or choices. Each person is valid, their choices make up the very essence of who they want to be, who they are and maybe even, how they want to be remembered.

Let’s replace that shaMing with shaRing. Sharing positivity, love and acceptance for every human being.

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