“Stop crossing oceans for people that won’t even jump a puddle for you.”
I feel like we’re all guilty of this. We feel like we’re being a good friend or good family member by always saying “yes” and by believing that when we find ourselves in of need something, certain people will be there too. There’s a lot of times in my life that I have done everything in my power to be there, to listen and to do for others without EVER expecting the same. I try not to hold onto any expectations still yet, I find myself at the edge of disappointment when it seems that my efforts are never reciprocated. I’ve made an effort, and it’s been a conscious effort, to be what people consider a “good friend” or “good family”. I’ve tried to consciously listen when someone says I may have missed the mark on something. I’ve taken the criticisms of the type of friend I am or I’m not and tried to apply them to myself to BE better and still yet at the end of the day, when I ask for or need a hand, there isn’t one to grab onto. Why do we have to change who we are to be better for someone else? Is that what friendships and relationships require? And should you change who you are or how you approach friendships if you’re the only one doing it?
I’ve put my time and energy completely into others needs even when I may not have wanted to, but my word is my word and I try my absolute best to keep it. What I have continued to learn over the years is that people will only call on you when they need something from you and let’s be honest, that is the absolute 100% truth. Other than that, they don’t even reach out to ask how you’re doing every once in a while. They don’t reach out just to check on you and see if you need anything. I do my best to send a text here and there just to let my friends know that they’re on my mind. We don’t need to have a conversation or make plans to know that we value one another’s friendship and that’s what’s most important. This is not specific to any one person, but it’s been an experience I’ve had my entire adult life. There comes a point where you have to make a choice and that choice is whether or not you continue to swim toward these types of people or throw them a life vest and hope they figure it out in time.
Moral: Don’t ever sell yourself short. If things or if people don’t serve you, move on. If you find that you’re constantly saying yes to favors and getting nothing in return, say no or say nothing. People try to be good and I genuinely believe that, but people also don’t realize when they’ve sucked you dry of your energy and time. They may not realize it until you’ve already decided to move forward and the only way to let them know is to stop being available and to show them that you value yourself and your needs first. There’s nothing wrong with letting go of guilt for choosing to spend more time on you. It’s always okay to choose yourself over others as along as it’s for the right reasons.
Tuesday Thoughts-I share my thoughts not because something has happened, but because they’ve been on my mind.